“Everyone must choose one of the two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.” – Jim Rohn
I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs. I had the worst Charlie horse ever! Honestly, I birthed two children without pain medication but would have taken pain meds if they were offered to me. Once the pain subsided and I was able to think clearly, I decided this had to be a sign I was in ketosis.
I quickly got out of bed and consulted with Dr. Google. I took information from three different google searches to complete my list of the signs of ketosis.
Ketosis Breath – Bad Breath
Loss of appetite
Increased key tones in blood, breath, or urine
Short-term decreases in exercise performance
Change in stool
Increased thirst and dry mouth
The Keto flu
Ugh. I only had 3 of the symptoms: ketosis breath, fatigue, and increased thirst. Then I thought, “Shit, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet this AM”, so I ran downstairs to test the symptom. Unfortunately, I’d never been so unhappy to have pleasant smelling breath. Then, I decided that I can count short-term decreases in exercise performance as a symptom because I have been too tired to try to exercise and me feeling as though I have a hangover probably equates to the keto flu. My final number was 4. I had 4 ketosis symptoms!
The remainder of the day I meandered around my house, ran errands, attended play dates, posted my daily eats on Pinterest (take a gander if you are interested), went to family counseling and wrote this blog post. All the while I felt as though I was channeling the actress from the Devil Wears Prada that says,
“See, I‘m on this new diet, well, I don’t eat anything. And right before I feel I‘m going to faint, I eat a cube of cheese. I‘m one stomach flu away from my goal weight.”
Every time I think about it, I giggle. I’m not sure if it’s really that funny or if it is my hunger-induced deliria that is making it so humorous to me. Anyways, I hope it makes you laugh out loud…