“Everyone must choose one of the two pains:  the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”  – Jim Rohn

I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs.  I had the worst Charlie horse ever!  Honestly, I birthed two children without pain medication but would have taken pain meds if they were offered to me.  Once the pain subsided and I was able to think clearly, I decided this had to be a sign I was in ketosis.

I quickly got out of bed and consulted with Dr. Google. I took information from three different google searches to complete my list of the signs of ketosis.

Ketosis Breath – Bad Breath

Loss of appetite

Weight Loss

Increased key tones in blood, breath, or urine

Short-term fatigue

Short-term decreases in exercise performance

Digestive issues

Insomnia

Change in stool

Increased thirst and dry mouth

The Keto flu

Ugh.  I only had 3 of the symptoms:  ketosis breath, fatigue, and increased thirst.  Then I thought, “Shit, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet this AM”, so I ran downstairs to test the symptom. Unfortunately, I’d never been so unhappy to have pleasant smelling breath. Then, I decided that I can count short-term decreases in exercise performance as a symptom because I have been too tired to try to exercise and me feeling as though I have a hangover probably equates to the keto flu.  My final number was 4.  I had 4 ketosis symptoms!

The remainder of the day I meandered around my house, ran errands, attended play dates, posted my daily eats on Pinterest (take a gander if you are interested), went to family counseling and wrote this blog post.  All the while I felt as though I was channeling the actress from the Devil Wears Prada that says,

“See, I‘m on this new diet, well, I don’t eat anything. And right before I feel I‘m going to faint, I eat a cube of cheese. I‘m one stomach flu away from my goal weight.”

Every time I think about it, I giggle.  I’m not sure if it’s really that funny or if it is my hunger-induced deliria that is making it so humorous to me.  Anyways, I hope it makes you laugh out loud…